FURNITURE DISEASE

                              YOU'RE OVERWEIGHT WHEN YOU DEVELOP FURNITURE DISEASE.  THAT'S WHEN YOUR CHEST FALLS ONTO YOUR DRAWERS.  THEN IT'S TIME FOR PUSH UPS AND SIT UPS PLUS LESS CALORIES AND A RUN AROUND THE BLOCK EVERY DAY.  OTHERWISE YOU'LL DEVELOP AN EVEN WORSE PROBLEM-LINGERIE DISEASE.  THAT 'S WHEN YOUR PANTYHOSE WON'T FIT ABOVE YOUR ANKLES.

WWJD?

                                  IT'S AN EPIDEMIC IN THE USA WHILE HALF THE WORLD IS STARVING TO DEATH.  WE EAT TOO  MUCH AND DO TOO LITTLE.  THEY WALK ACROSS THEIR COUNTRY WITH LITTLE CHILDREN IN TOW TO GET FOOD AT THE RELIEF CAMPS ON THE BORDER.  WHAT'S THE SOLUTION?  TITHING-REPUBLICANS LOVE THAT.  THEY DON'T WANT TAXES BUT THEY DON'T MIND GIVING 10 PERCENT  OF THEIR EARNINGS TO THE LOCAL EVANGELIST OR CHURCH OF THE LADDER DAY SAINTS(GET THE PUN?).    OTHERWISE REDISTRIBUTION OF WEALTH IS CONSIDERED COMMUNISM.
                           SO BRING BACK TITHING.  CATHOLIC CHURCH BINGO GAMES ARE JUST  NOT ENOUGH TO SAVE THE WORLD'S POOR.  ALSO IF AMERICANS VOLUNTARILY GAVE AWAY  A  LITTLE,MAYBE THEIR WAISTLINES WOULD GET SLIMMER.
                                  NOW THAT I THINK OF IT, IT'S LIKE HERMAN CAIN'S 999 PLAN OR IS THAT 666?  UH OH HOW DID THE DEVIL GET INTO A DISCUSSION ON WEIGHT LOSS AND TITHING?  ONLY THE GODFATHER PIZZA CEO FRONTING FOR THE MOB WOULD KNOW THAT?