THE RELUCTANT COOK

                  ANY TIME THERE'S NO FOOD POISONING, IT'S A  GOOD MEAL is the motto of all RELUCTANT COOKS.  RETCHING,VOMITING, DIARHHEA AND DOUBLING OVER WITH STOMACH PAINS ARE SIGNS OF AN UNSUCCESSFUL COOKING ATTEMPT.  OTHERWISE THE QUALITY OF THE MEAL IS IN THE EYES AND PALATE OF THE CONSUMER.  LACK OF TASTEBUDS OR INORDINATE HUNGER ARE THE BEST DINERS FOR A RELUCTANT COOK.  
                     FROZEN FOOD OR CANNED IS PREFERRED OVER FRESH.  NO SPOILAGE  OR MOLD  NOTHING NEEDS TO BE DISPOSED OF UNLESS THE ELECTRICITY GOES OUT OR THE CANNED FOOD IS DENTED OR RUSTED.  PREPARED FOODS ARE EASY AND HAVE GREAT VARIETY INCLUDING ITALIAN, MEXICAN AND GOOD OLD FASHIONED AMERICAN LIKE MAMA USED TO MAKE.  THEY ARE NOTHING LIKE THE OLD TV DINNERS YOU ATE ON YOUR SNACK TABLES.  TAKEOUT OR LEFTOVERS ARE AN EXCELLENT ALTERNATIVE.
                      THE RELUCTANT COOK HAS DOMINO'S PIZZA AND THE LOCAL CHINESE RESTAURANT ON SPEED DIAL.  POWDERED MILK OR CREAMER WILL NEVER SPOIL UNLESS THE ROOF LEAKS OR THERE IS A FLOOD.  FOR A GOURMET MOMENT INTERNATIONAL DELIGHT OR CREMORA WILL DO.
                           SO EAT, DRINK AND BE MERRY FOR TOMORROW WE DIE(OF FOOD POISONING IF THE RELUCTANT COOK DECIDES TO COOK FROM SCRATCH.  A BEEFEATER IS NEEDED TO AVOID FOOD POISONING.  IF THERE'S NO LIVE BEEFEATER AVAILABLE USE  A HEAVY DOSE OF THE BOTTLED GIN FORM.). 
                             

IF YOU DON'T COOK,YOU HAVE MORE TIME TO PLAY

                                                  CHEERS